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| Wednesday, June 23, 2004 |
Dodgeball
Oh I have been looking forward to this FOREVER. Or so it seems. One of the best things I think this movie might have done for itself was to NOT over-publicize it with trailers aplenty (SPIDERMAN 2). This meant that most of the funny parts were still a surprise, which is crucial in a movie like this. Peter La Fleur (Vince Vaughn, the king of dry comedy) owns a gym that is threatened to be bought out by GloboGym, run by White Goodman (Ben Stiller, the king of Character comedy). If he can't come up with $50,000 in 30 days, they lose the gym. In a last ditch effort, they decide to enter the Las Vegas Dodgeball Internationals with the hopes of winning. And of course the hillarity ensues. While there is a lot of junior high humor (wrench in the nuts, need I say more?), there is also quite a few sight gags and intelligent humor. Vince Vaughn has some really witty comments that you might miss the first time, and Ben Stiller is just funny funny. Further, this movie has the best cameos I have seen in a loooong time. I would almost venture to say ever. All of them are completely unexpected but they just fit so perfectly. It's so funny. I recommend this movie wholeheartedly. It's the funniest thing I've seen since Old School, and that's saying something. GO!!! I give this movie a: FRAME Simply stated at 7:57 AM |
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Stepford Wives
Ok, just to get this out of my system, Nicole Kidman is SOOO ugly and needs to gain some weight and stop getting plastic surgery and Oh, it would be nice if she would learn to act. Ah, now that I have that out of my system, I can get on with the review. In Stepford Wives, Joanna is a top TV executive who gets fired after none of the syndicates will pick up her shows (and why would they, they all look pretty sucky). After having a nervous breakdown, her husband (Matthew Broderick) decides they should all move to the country to start a new life together. So of course they move to Stepford, where Joanna begins to expect something is seriously wrong with all the wives of the town. This movie was kind of a conundrum to me. Two of the leads--Kidman and Midler--gave lackluster performances (aka SUCK), but most of the supporting actors were very good. Glenn Close was great as always and Faith Hill was surprisingly good even with her very few lines. And Christopher Walken is Christopher Walken...he could read a telephone book and it would be funny. The plot...well, it was ok. Not horrible, just ok. Predictable at most parts, except for a "twist" ending, although you can kind of expect that too much to the movie's chagrin. It was just all too predictable. For new viewers who had never seen the first Stepford Wives, perhaps they shouldn't have made it so obvious in the previews that the women were robots. It kinda kills any suspense when you know what's coming. I'm fairly ambivalent about this movie. It was funny at parts, but I wouldn't go to see it again. No no. In the end, I give this movie a: FLAME Simply stated at 7:49 AM |
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| Saturday, June 05, 2004 |
LAZY LAZY LAZY
No, that's not a movie, that's an ode to the fact that I'm SIX movies behind, so right now I'm just going to give a quick review and judgement of the movies I'm seen lately and then hopefully get back on track. 13 Going on 30 Cute movie, Jennifer Garner is very good. Nothing Oscar worthy or anything, but I cried several times at the more touching parts. Good enough for me to see twice at least. FRAME Mean Girls Really funny, except for a truly sappy ending. Lindsey Lohan still does her same crap that passes for acting. She's not bad, it's just ALWAYS the same. And boob job much?? But once again, saw it twice so it's worth it. FRAME Shrek 2 Ok, I've seen this one THREE times now, and it just gets better every time. It's to the point now where I've decided it's better than the first. Yes, yes I have. It's great, go see it, I COMMAND you! FRAME Troy A toughie. 3 hours of nearly naked (HOT) men would normally earn a frame, but Troy veered SOOOO far from the actual story of the Trojan war that it just made me angry. So this is my proviso. If you actually KNOW the story don't go (unless like me you want to see HOT guys), but if not than you have nothing to piss you off. But for me, it just wasn't up to snuff. FLAME Raising Helen Another toughie. Cute movie, but very cliche. John Corbett is slightly annoying as the love interest (like Lohan, it's just always the SAME) but overall it's a cute movie. Good enough to see once, even if it is kind of cookie cutter romantic comedy. FRAME Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban AWESOME!!! I have been waiting SO long for this. I almost want to give it a full review, but it's late and as the title says I'm lazy. New director, new style, better acting from the kids as the grow up, all in all probably the best installment so far. GO!!! FRAME Simply stated at 9:35 PM |
| Saturday, April 24, 2004 |
Kill Bill 2
Yowsa. I was going to just end my review on that, but I decided to give you a little bit more to go on. But really, yowsa pretty much covers it. I couldn't WAIT for this movie to come out. I have been counting the days man. And I definetly saw it twice opening weekend. Oh yeah. Well, Kill Bill 2 kinda takes off where KB left off, with the BRIDE trying to finish up her death list. If you haven't seen KB, you must, this is kinda a free recommendation. Or you can read my review of IT and then make your decision. Yes, this review is probably one of my most disjointed, so now I'm going to try and save it now. It's awesome. Awesome awesome. Um....all the homages to the old film genres are still there, and great. We learn all the background to her story (including her NAME) and we learn the end. It's greatness, and if Uma doesn't get an acting nod for this from the academy then I will cease to watch the Oscars. I'll be like all those actors who move to England when we elect a new president. Except I'll still be in America, just boycotting the Oscars. Yeah. I'm sorry, school's almost over, my brain is fried, not the most conducive conditions for writing a review. And it's sad cause this movie deserves so much better. Trust me, just see it. It's a lot less bloody than the first one I PROMISE (seriously). I give this movie a: FRAME Simply stated at 12:20 PM |
| Sunday, April 11, 2004 |
Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed
I'm a dork. Oh yes it's true, I really looked forward to seeing this movie. But at least I went into it with the positive outlook that it would probably suck. The eternal optimist, that's me. Of course, in the end I was slightly surprised. So, the premise? Well, the gang is opening a museum of all their conquests, basically consisting of the costumes of those they have unmasked. But someone disturbs the opening and steals some of their costumes. Unfortunatley, the gang discovers the one stealing is creating REAL monsters out of the costumes of their old mysteries. JINKIES!! They try to catch the bad guy, blah blah blah. The BIG thing is the return of Alicia Silverstone as the nosy scheming reporter. In the movie MSN today heralded as her comeback (haha, that was me rolling around on the floor in hysterical laughter.) she is, well, about as good as can be expected of any character in a Scooby Doo movie. Yeah. Honestly, I enjoyed this movie. It was slow at first (and other places), but there were some funny parts. Of course, I think I'm going to attribute my enjoyment to my sheer love of Scooby doo. Some of the acting was spotty, the editing could use some work, and the plot was...well, scooby doo (It was much closer to the style of the cartoon though, which might be the reason I enjoyed it). I'm going to have to think about the people here. Would the people find this movie amusing and entertaining. Would the people want to spend 5 dollars (or MORE) to watch this? I'm going to assume that the general public will not find this movie as entertaining as I did (plus I'm trying to get a little more ruthless with my FLAMES). With that in mind, I rate. I give this movie a: FLAME Simply stated at 11:29 AM |
| Sunday, March 21, 2004 |
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Wow...three reviews in one week...you must be convulsing in hysterics as we speak. Well hold on cowboy, it only gets better. This movie has been getting great reviews so I was really looking forward to seeing it. It was docked to come out last year, but probably because of the stiff competition in acting categories they pushed back the release. So finally at 12:30 on Friday night the time had come. First of all, 12:30 was probably not the best time to see this movie. It was slightly cerebral, no pun intended (ok, maybe a little bit intended). Joel (Jim Carrey) dated Clementine (Kate Winslet) and they broke up. He is so hurt that he goes to have her erased from his memory. The majority of the movie takes place in Joel's mind, as he struggles with the realization that he doesn't want to get rid of her afterall, but it's probably too late. The main theme of this movie is second chances. Several interacting sub plots make you think about destiny and human nature. It also makes you think about how much we learn from our past experiences. But I don't want to give too much away, even though it's not really a humongous plot twist or anything. If you get confused when watching it, just look at Kate Winslet's hair. That should help. The acting was across the board good. Carrey and Winslet were great and should garner some awards. Everyone else was...um, NOT bad. Nothing superior or anything, I don't know. This one is tough for me to judge. The editing was great, awesome cinematography, great acting, but it didn't really GO anywhere. To use a math analogy, the rising action rose at about a 1 degree slope. It rose, but it was almost inperceptible. The movie was less than two hours long, but it felt like I was in the theater for 4 hours. I hate doing this, but I'm going to qualify my rating. Just know that my rating is not based on artsy-ness or acting or message. I'm basing my rating soley on whether I think yall would enjoy spending 5 dollars and two hours watching this in a movie theater. Man, what a toughie. I give this movie a: FLAME Simply stated at 1:19 PM |
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Dirty Dancing Havana Nights
Nobody puts Baby in a corner! Alas the biggest shortcoming of the movie was the fact that this line was omitted. Every movie ever made should have this line in it. Well, at least the Dirty Dancings. Next up...Dirty Dancing Waco Afternoons. Thoughts? So, Katie Miller is a senior in high school when her dad takes a job offer in Cuba. So they move out to Havana. Pissed? You bet she is. But she manages to get over it and meet a pretty hot Cuban pool boy named Javier. She and Javier enter a Latin ballroom dancing contest to help him raise money. Oh yeah, and they fall in love through the dance. All this is of course taking place against the political turmoil of 1950's Cuba. I went to this movie with kind of the same mentality that causes you to watch the Anna Nicole show. What? I don't watch that. Yeah. But I was pleasently surprised. Yes, it was campy. Yes, it was Dirty dancing all over again. But I liked the first one so I didn't mind all too much. It was cute. Cute enough for me to go back and watch it again. And the dancing was really fun of course. Basically You got Served with better acting and plot (I kid I kid). While some of the acting left something to be desired, I wasn't going in thinking Oscar, so I didn't mind too much. When it sucked it just kind of made it more enjoyable. But it never detracted from the movie. Overall I really enjoyed it, it was fun brainlesss entertainment, the perfect blend for spring break. I give this movie a: FRAME Simply stated at 11:13 AM |
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| Sunday, March 14, 2004 |
Starsky and Hutch
Ah, back in school, movie once a month. How sad, but that's the way the cookie crumbles. Hopefully due to spring break I can get in a couple more for your reading pleasure, but if not, you can just bask in the glow that IS my review for Starsky and Hutch. Based on the 70's TV show, Starsky and Hutch are two Bay City police detectives made partners because of their completley incompatible styles (punishment, silly captain). This of course leads to some zany hijinks, of course, as the investigate the murder of a guy who's name I can't remember. That's all you really need to know about the plot I think. Yeah. Todd Phillips reunites a lot of the Old School cast members, much to my delight. It wasn't as funny as Old School, but to be fair it's also rated PG-13. But how fair is it to compare anything to Old School. It's like comparing Olive Garden to Al Dente in the Main, just not really a fair shot. It's good (ok, maybe it's a bad example cause Al Dente kinda sucks a lot of the time.), but you'd take Olive Garden any day. Anyway, I digress...what was I saying? Ah yes, Old School cast members reunited. But no Blue, oh well. Regardless of the inevitable Olive Garden comparison (you knew it was coming, just admit it), I thought the movie was very funny and laughed a lot. I probably won't buy it when it comes out on video, but I could see myself going to see it in the theater again. I enjoyed it quite a lot I would say. Yes, I think I feel a recommendation coming on. Sorry if I ruined the anticipation for you. I give this movie a: FRAME Simply stated at 3:11 PM |
| Tuesday, February 10, 2004 |
You got Served
Where to start, where to start. Well, it was between this and Tad Hamilton, and Laura and I decided we had had too much estrogen for the day already (we had just watched Miss Congeniality) so we decided to go rough and tumble ghetto style. Right. In You got Served, David and Elgin are two best friends who head up a street dancing "crew" that "battles" for cash prizes. Well, quite a lot goes wrong and the two end up becomming enemies of each other. One synopsis I read called this an enlightening look into the sub-culture of street dance. Yeah, sure. If you're high. I can understand why the acting sucked. They all had to be able to dance, and try to find a street dancing double threat who wants to star in this movie. But the fact that the acting sucked definetly lead to some seriously hillarious moments and audience bonding. And the dancing was good, fun to watch and all. Except for the obligatory dance in the rain sequence, sheesh. Oh, and I almost forgot the shameless play at the audience's emotion that was SO contrived and SOO begging us please please please don't walk out, please shed a tear, please pay another five dollars and come see it again. Yeah, maybe next lifetime. Oh, and did I mention the cinematography? No, I didn't. The best thing I got from this movie? The warning to never EVER have liposuction done. Me oh my Lil Kim looked like someone had made her stomach into lumpy playdoh. It was phsycially disgusting to look at. PSA the more you know and everything. Yeah, so don't go see it. Unless like me you find nothing else really appealing and just want to sit in the theater and laugh at how HORRIBLE the movie is. I'm strange like that. I give this movie a: FLAME Simply stated at 1:14 PM |
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